It’s been a while since I blogged, as most know I have been busy, and I have also been healing. Healing my mind my heart and soul. Things are looking good and a lot of really great stuff has happened.
One reason for the blog today is, after going to writer’s group the other day, and talking about all kinds of things related to writing and not. I was asked…no, I was told by my peers to get busy writing! lol!! But as I have been talking about for months my desire has gone awry. I feel like I want to, but- my focus is off, train of though derailed. So My friend
Jorja said, journal, everyday write down your thoughts. so I decided I would blog today as part of my inspiration re-boot! For some reason its easier to write down feelings then go disappear in one of my stories in my imagination…Don’t ask why.
My muse has been very patient probably because I still write things down about my stories in a note book, maybe i’m just waiting to be settled. On paper I am. But I have a move coming up in a month, and I’m very much looking forward to decorating and setting up my new house into a cozy home! The move isn’t far i’m in the same town.
I am having restless nights, sleep alludes me. I think about stuff, I think about the future, I think about how my day went, worst of all, I think about the past. It’s still a complete mystery of the turn of events that happen to me…What happened to my late husband? Like I said, I’m healing but, even when I’m mended there is always going to be a scar. I have too many questions that won’t get answered. Best I keep telling myself is to chalk it up to insanity.
I get up everyday, and live my life. I take good with bad. I have made some new friends and sadly some friends I have lost, some I chose to leave, some made the choice for me. I also lost family, they are his blood, but I think it’s better this way. They can’t handle truth and they sweep stuff under the rug and pretend like its not there. Well, that’s not me, and that is one of the big reasons my marriage started to fall apart, among a multitude of things..(insanity)
I think loosing family and friends hurts most. But I can’t make them see my side, nor do I have the energy or time to waste on it. I believe this is my life’s path, people come and go…for 25 years I lived a pretty good life but it was getting empty and lonely, my prayers got answered, in many ways really good and some, very tragic, but the big picture here is to make my next 25 better… all about my happiness. Taking care of what I want and need.
I hope my blog helps anyone going through a loss, any kind of loss… it helps to talk and write things down. I do hope I reach someone who feels as though they are at rock bottom and reading my drama might help. please feel free to reach out and talk.
Ok… instead of thinking years into the future I’m just gonna concentrate on the next three months… I can slowly move stuff to the new house. My wonderful boyfriend is going to do some painting. I’m going to handle all the paper work of this move. I am excited about decorating my office. I want to get a nice desk and a big comfy chair to sit in…and write my stories! and I’m looking forward to the holidays! One day, and one moment at a time.
DREAM~ WISH~ BELIEVE