A door closes and another opens…


Things are changing! I went to my therapist yesterday and I told her I feel like I keep opening and closing doors almost like in a fun house, mainly because its been a whirlwind. Not only did my life change in less then 5 minutes, Started divorce proceedings.. Then I jumped into the dating pool. But in reality I was not with my husband or any man for a long time and was not treated very well by him at all. So I feel I was separated for about 3 years.

Enter some guys…. some nice, some crazy, some boring …One hung around for awhile and I could have fallen but my gut instinct  knew better. He was nice enough treated me well, but I think we ran on lust no substance and I do believe I was not his only “friend” and he did not want commitment so I was not gonna wait at home on Saturday nights waiting..ALONE! what I am grateful for is he helped build my confidence!

Those dating websites are a nightmare, the only reason I’m still on one is I’m collecting info for my next book…truly, My own imagination can’t make up some of the shit these guys spew..Its awful and hysterical at the same time!

One night a great friend told me she had a great guy for me to meet. So I met him. As luck would have it we hit it off, and have not spent one night without each other since we met! The difference of this guy is he wants to see me he tells me nice things and most important he wants to get to know ME not just my body. This guy is in it for a real relationship, and I am just as smitten. Best part he lives in my town. We know a lot of the same people but never crossed paths, as far as we know. When This man kisses me I feel his feelings behind it. He makes my heart pound and I get dizzy and he literally takes my breath away. BIG Difference! Someone once said to me why do you need a man in your life to feel complete. My answer was.. I don’t need one I want one. I guess its part of my personality I  have a big heart, and I really need to love and connect with people.

So my reference to doors opening and closing, My therapist loved that reference she said that is a great description of what your going through…. my life keeps moving and changing but I wish it would slow down now.. I feel as though I found a wonderful nice man  and I hope my divorce goes smooth so I can relax and enjoy myself. I am still very wound tight, and instead of anxiety I feel as though I get aggravated easier.  I need to calm down. When I am with this man I am calm. and I smile more. He does too. 🙂

I also need to stop being scared of my heart getting broken and enjoy, but Maybe I am still just a bit vulnerable, or gun shy . Maybe again as they say, “Time”…Time is our cure In Time things unfold and work themselves out …sometimes, Time can stand still and in that moment if we are open we see a sign, we get the answer we were waiting for. Is there a reason for everything?! Do things happen to us because its destined to unfold that way? Does the universe give and take things away and put other stuff in our way and say WAKE UP?!  I could think and ponder and analyze all day on this. But it is nice to think there is some cosmic divine intervention at hand helping us …

We just have to sit quiet and maybe just BELIEVE*


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